The Waste Land; Or, ITV4 Commentary (Tottenham vs Maribor) A Found Poem

Speed, lightning.
Not a lot of Carrol,
The referee's the same age as Jermain Defoe!
Rigid shape - swinging,
A little heavy to begin with
Under the nose.

Facing the wrong way,
Darko,
Before they had their own identity.

Jonjo Shelvey Haiku

For Jonjo Shelvey
Football is made much harder
He has horses legs.

Ledley Rex

Mabbutt the Priest, and Sheringham the Prophet anointed Ledley the King
And all the Spurs fans rejoic'd, and said:
God save the King! Long live the King!
May the King live forever,
Amen, Allelujah.

The England Supporters Band

An England match, rarely a spectacle
But there's something quite
Unacceptable -
The noise made by those five men
It's totally indifensible.

The Great Escape, God Save the Queen
Play them once and then again
When they're bored they just hit that drum
An England match it just leaves you numb.

A soundtrack of wonky brass
Accompanies every misplaced pass
If the England band we did dispose
Could be the solution to England's woes.

Falcioni

Chewing a wasp
Does not quite grasp
The grim enjoyment of his face.
Calciated, the visage opens
And his stalagmite teeth bark forward orders.
His folded nose, stately
And bespectacled -
Casting truculent shadows.
When that mouth turns upwards
It must creak like ancient mills.
They surely don't make faces like this one anymore.

Stars and Stripes

Their emblem fringed
With gilded scudetti
Bears the weight of history.
This year's addition
Questionable -
Forever asterixed.

Tanka for the Recently Sacked Manager II

Sat rapt in stillness
Like Kitchener lost at sea
An idol for stoics
And in his newfound freedom
He counts trophies in ashtrays.