The Owl is not what he seems.

Flickering on the edges
Of that reality
Only existing in the dull light
Of television
He sat, stage left
Ocassionally panning to centre.

Now his time
In the leading role
Perhaps
The owl is not what he seems.
For a lifetime -
Watching, perhaps
He has gleaned what afflicts
This sorry state.

For Pep

Behold the Lamb of God that taketh away the sin of the world

 

Josep Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.

Josep Dei, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us.

Josep Dei, you who take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.

 

You, Messianic

In the face of turning trends -

Greece '04,became all in 2010.

You who washed our feet,

Let loose upon that sublime field

The form of God made manifest.

Now stricken you die for us

In the face of Mourinho -

Persistently monochromatic cardigans.

Let down from your cross

On the lips of a thousand apostles

An endless conversation hushed onward.

Josep Dei, you who take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.

Phil Babb Kebab (Isn't It A Pity)

Isn't it a pitta
Isn't a shame
That he crashed into a goalpost
And bought himself some pain
How on the first page of pictures
When you google his name
Is a picture of a kebab
Isn't it a shame.

His career was reasonably good
But how do you explain
How it's boiled down to two images
Isn't it a shame
Due to these cruel twists of fate
People won't ever see
He was an alright defender
Isn't it a pity.

Forgetting Phil Babb now, isn't it a pity?
Forgetting Phil Babb now, isn't it a shame?

Dear John Lennon: Imagine This

Imagine there's a defence
It's easy if you try
This could really happen
They could be seen on Sky.

Imagine two Scottish brothers
Their names Gary and Steve
Let's reunite the Caldwell's
Make them play centreback.

Imagine alongside them
Playing on the right
Phil Fucking Bardsley
What a terrible sight.

What could top this trio?
Who could play left back?
There's only one man to play here
And it's Bolton's Paul Robinson.

Imagine there's a defence
It could make you cry
Imagine if they played football
We'd have to imagine football.

Don't Cry For Me Diego Villar

Don't cry for me Diego Villar
The truth is you'll always leave us
All through these last few years
Our mad existence
We danced our blue ballet
And now you're distanced.

Don't cry for me Diego Villar
We've lost you once before
Like we did Mariano Donda
I've loved before
I'll love again
But not Ruben Ramirez.

Don't cry for me Diego Villar
I'll not shed a tear for you
When you jump on El Expreso
Skating out of Mendoza
Enzo Perezesque, like so many more
At least I have my Nicolas Olmedo.

If Man Utd liked hip hop

If Man U liked hip hop
And didn't have a game
Surely they'd dress Danny Welbeck
Up like Big Daddy Kane.
Maybe make them all sing
Ashley Young might go far
He's on backing vocals
The next big RnB star.
Now Michael Carrick's a toughie
He's got two left feet
They asked Phil Jones to breakdance
And he smashed up his seat.
Ryan Giggs is a stalwart
Every trophy he has won
But he's got a few problems
And surely the bitch is one.

The First Half of Arsenal vs AC Milan

Now Wenger told the Arsenal
Your heads they mustn't drop
The golden trophy glistens
The moaning's got to stop
Chamberlain with the corner
A goal from Koscielny
Rosicky with the second
What chance could there be?

Allegri don't like it
Rockin' the Mesbah
Rock the Mesbah
Allegri don't like it
Rockin' the Mesbah
Rock the Mesbah