Dear John Lennon: Imagine This

Imagine there's a defence
It's easy if you try
This could really happen
They could be seen on Sky.

Imagine two Scottish brothers
Their names Gary and Steve
Let's reunite the Caldwell's
Make them play centreback.

Imagine alongside them
Playing on the right
Phil Fucking Bardsley
What a terrible sight.

What could top this trio?
Who could play left back?
There's only one man to play here
And it's Bolton's Paul Robinson.

Imagine there's a defence
It could make you cry
Imagine if they played football
We'd have to imagine football.

Don't Cry For Me Diego Villar

Don't cry for me Diego Villar
The truth is you'll always leave us
All through these last few years
Our mad existence
We danced our blue ballet
And now you're distanced.

Don't cry for me Diego Villar
We've lost you once before
Like we did Mariano Donda
I've loved before
I'll love again
But not Ruben Ramirez.

Don't cry for me Diego Villar
I'll not shed a tear for you
When you jump on El Expreso
Skating out of Mendoza
Enzo Perezesque, like so many more
At least I have my Nicolas Olmedo.

If Man Utd liked hip hop

If Man U liked hip hop
And didn't have a game
Surely they'd dress Danny Welbeck
Up like Big Daddy Kane.
Maybe make them all sing
Ashley Young might go far
He's on backing vocals
The next big RnB star.
Now Michael Carrick's a toughie
He's got two left feet
They asked Phil Jones to breakdance
And he smashed up his seat.
Ryan Giggs is a stalwart
Every trophy he has won
But he's got a few problems
And surely the bitch is one.

The First Half of Arsenal vs AC Milan

Now Wenger told the Arsenal
Your heads they mustn't drop
The golden trophy glistens
The moaning's got to stop
Chamberlain with the corner
A goal from Koscielny
Rosicky with the second
What chance could there be?

Allegri don't like it
Rockin' the Mesbah
Rock the Mesbah
Allegri don't like it
Rockin' the Mesbah
Rock the Mesbah